It Not Easy

 
Hard, struggle and painful are adjectives used by some people who live with clinical depression and persistent negative thoughts to describe their life. If you have not walked in their shoes please don’t speak against their walk. Encourage, support, speak life, go the extra mile when they can’t, pray for them when they don’t have the strength and most of all love them and encourage them to get help as needed. People don’t kill themselves because they don’t trust God, don’t have anyone to talk to are sick, broke etc. Ultimately people kill themselves because at that moment the strength that they had been using to fight the persistent negative thoughts and to keep hope alive paled in comparison to the strength of the negative thoughts that they were currently facing. Thoughts, feelings, and behaviors go together. They were not weak or selfish, just at that moment overwhelmed. 2 Corinthians 10:5 Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ; Ephesians 6:13 Wherefore take unto you the whole armor of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. Yes, we are encouraged to stand in the Lord and to cast down those thoughts that exalt themselves against the knowledge of God, however how we operationalize those mandates may look different depending on what we are facing and on how long we have been dealing with a specific persistent negative situation. For example, a long-term illness like clinical depression or one that requires ongoing tests and medical interventions can lead to up and down emotions such as fear and worry. One day you are full of faith and feeling good and the next day you are afraid and feel like giving up. Cycles that have us vacillating between a clean bill of health, treatment, remission, re-occurrence, treatment, remission etc. can wear us out. Sometimes we are going through so much (job problems, family issues etc) that we can feel as if we do not have the physical, mental or spiritual strength needed to deal with the same thing or another day. But guess what? The Lord is not disqualifying you because you feel like giving up. Romans 5:8 But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Before you knew anything about yourself there was a God who loved you. Even when you are without strength, positive attitude or hope He loves you. Sometimes we try to work and stay busy in hopes of putting a distance between us and our negative emotions but negative thoughts can be relentless.
When you have to confront the same negative thought, same health concern, the same fears over and over again you can become tired and weary. And even when things seem to be going well for the moment you can live in fear and with a sense of dread. 1 Peter 5:8 Be sober, be vigilant; because  your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour: Thoughts that lead to our destruction (spiritually or emotionally) are tools that the enemy uses to destroy us. And just like the enemy who goes to and fro seeking whom he may devour, negative thoughts never give up. Negative thoughts such as those that generate fear, sadness and or defeat can seem like a formidable adversary in our quest to remain sane, hopeful and upbeat. Even when we are smiling and feeling good, those persistent negative thoughts can creep in. And when we least expect it those thoughts can invade our feelings and remind us that we are not really happy. Sometimes you just don’t have the emotional, physical or spiritual strength to keep going, but He does. We can sometimes think that if we are not quoting scripture, praying or confessing that we are not in faith. But faith goes beyond quoting scriptures and a good confession (while these things are important). Romans 4:2-4 For if Abraham were justified by works, he hath whereof to glory; but not before God.
For what saith the scripture? Abraham believed God, and it was counted unto him for righteousness. The Lord knows that sometimes you will be dealing with something in your life that you will not have the strength to face. So don’t beat yourself up if you feel as if you don’t have the testimony that you think you should have or are not speaking in faith in the way you think you should. Each time your spirit cries out and points in the direction of the Lord Jesus Christ that is a manifestation of your faith. This is the time in which all you need to do is to trust Jesus. Your faith is found in your trust and reliance on Him and He does not count or measure your faith in the same way that you do. Never discount the Love of God. Jesus Christ is not as hard to get along with as you think. He will meet you when you don’t have the strength to meet him. He will sustain you even when you don’t have the strength to pray, fast, go to church, read your bible, put a smile on your face, talk faith or think positive thoughts. He will meet you where you are even when you don’t feel Him. If you don’t have the strength that you feel you need He does, even in your silence, your fear, worry and tears He is there and His strength is sufficient. So stop with the self-condemnation and feelings of guilt.  You do not have to do anything extra in this season but just rest in Him.

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